Home Secretary, Priti Patel, took to Radio 4’s Today programme to announce the asylum system was broken and that she was breaking the Geneva Convention and didn’t give a fuck about children drowning as they try to escape from war-torn regimes in homemade rafts.
The True Blue Tory, who rushed through the policing bill to shoot any cabinet minister on TV without a massive Union Flag has told her invincible friend, her work here was done.
She confirmed she was running away to the circus as the world’s first talking cunt. She can’t wait to take her amazing skill on the road and expects to feel at home in a tent full of clowns.
Her scared Home Office colleague continued: “It’s a bit like the death of the wicked witch scene from the Wizard of OZ around here. She’d be great in the circus, as well as being a poisonous talking cunt she’s amazing on the unicycle despite her arse being the size of two continents.”
Patel, who broke the ministerial code for bullying Sir Alex Allan left because Boris Jonson was too scared to sack her, went out on a blaze of far-right Tory hyperbole by making a cunt of herself on national Radio as followers carried her from the BBC studios, draped in a Union flag.