UNITED STATES — Socially distanced US Army personnel are finding it difficult to contain America’s civil unrest, as the 2m rule is seeing rioters run through the gaps.

The space into which people are attacking has not been seen since the last Premier League match involving Norwich City.

5-star General, Barabus-Bob Valentine, said, “This is very difficult logistically, as rioters don’t seem overly concerned with social distancing measures put in place to protect them.  

“How do they expect to stay safe if we can’t aim for them individually?

“Also, how are our trained killing machines supposed to stay safe during rioting if any of them could be exposed to this virus due to flagrant disregard for the rules.

“I hope the police will rightly step in and arrest those contravening social distancing measures.

“You know, if they can get up off that guy’s throat for a minute.”